Days Like This...

Days like this make me want to cry.

"Get your wrinkly finger out of my face! Ugh, you smell!"

A fifth grader who was making it impossible for me to teach and for anyone to learn said this to me today as I tried to have a private conversation about his behavior.

What I said: "Excuse me?"
What I thought: "I DON'T SMELL YOU SMELL I TAKE SHOWERS MY FINGER IS WRINKLE-LESS AND BEAUTIFUL I'M ONLY TWENTY THREE STOP BEING SUCH A BUTT."

Eventually, the PE teacher and I gathered the two fifth grade classes we had together because so many of them were being disrespectful. They sat in the gym and talked and talked back and argued with everyone.
I told them how rude they were being.
I told them they all had a brain in their heads and a heart in their chest.
I told them that they all had potential to be so much more.
I told them I wanted them to graduate high school.
I told them I want them to be successful. I want them to have jobs and money to support themselves.
I told them that I want them to be happy.

Some listened. Some mocked me. But I said all of that. And if it changed only changed one heart, then I will have been successful. The future, to my students, is so far away, and I don't blame them for not wanting to hear me. As a teacher and someone who cares about them, I want to show them everything they could be, the things they could achieve. But I can only do so much, and it all starts with their decisions.

Days like this make me laugh.

A couple hours after the fifth grade fiasco, it was time for kindergarten. (Sometimes I wonder how kindergartners, full of wonder, kindness, and excitement, turn into bitter, rude fifth graders. Anyway, that's another story.)

As my first kindergarten group walked into my classroom, I received seven hugs and tied three shoes. I also had a little girl tell me she had something for me. As I gasped and looked excited, she pulled out of her pocket a fully melted Hershey's kiss. She looked at it and wrinkled her nose as I thanked her. She clearly decided it wasn't up to her standards, and she reached into her pocket and handed me two pennies. She seemed much happier about this gift and smiled as she placed the pennies in my hand.

My second kindergarten class arrived a half hour later. There is a boy in this class who has always struggled to focus and follow directions in class. He recently has gotten much better and is practically my teacher's assistant. As soon as someone gets off task, he will put the quiet sign up in the air (the forefinger and the middle finger raised in the air, like a squished peace sign). First he'll raise one quiet sign up high, then use the other arm to make two, and then finally get on his knees so everyone can see. It cracks me up to see this child work so hard because he wants everyone to do a good job.

I don't know what got into this boy today. He raised his hand during class at one point and when I called on him, he told me he had something to tell me, but it was a secret. I told him that he could come tell me the secret. He gets up and cups his hand around my ear and then whispers...
"For Christmas, I'm going to buy you a car."

I thanked him while chuckling internally and saw a shy smile on his face. He sat down and raised his hand again several minutes later. As soon as I called on him, he came to tell me another secret...
"On Valentine's Day, I'm going to get you a box of chocolates."

I sent him back to his seat again thinking that I've never had such sweet nothings whispered in my ear before. He tried to tell me another secret, but I told him we didn't have time for any more secrets today.

Days like this...

Days like this hurt, but they are also filled with silliness. More than ANYTHING, I love my students. Sometimes they break my heart, but sometimes they fill my heart with joy and I feel I'm going to burst.

I don't know where my life is going to take me, but I know that I want to be the teacher my students need and deserve. I have a lot of work to do, but I'm pretty sure it'll be worth it in the end.

-Ms. R

The past month has been busy with preparation for the holidays and concerts. My concert season began with Winter Wonderland, which featured the 4th & 5th grade orchestra (which I don't teach), our school's cheerleading squad (which I also don't teach), and the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade chorus (which I do teach)! The kids performed beautifully, and I was especially proud of my 3rd graders who make up the majority of the chorus. They worked really hard, as did the rest of the students. I was lucky to have my Aunt Mary visit and watch this concert. It was so lovely to be able to share moments of my daily life with a family member I don't see very often.

The next concert was the following week, and it featured Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade. Basically, all the cutie-pies. They rehearsed beautifully all week. As they walked onto stage, I could tell some of them hadn't realized just how many people would be sitting in the audience. This made many of my little sweeties sing just a little too loud...or shout. But alas, they were adorable.

I'm pretty sure I may have been more nervous than they were, though. I got so anxious and twitchy that I made some silly mistakes on the piano. I hoped they would go unnoticed, but a first grader in the front row took care of that when he commented to the student behind him that I was making a lot of mistakes. He said this in THE MIDDLE OF THE SONG. Leave it to the little ones to point out flaws.

Since then, I've been preparing for my Christmas Sing-Alongs. I remember singing Christmas songs during winter assemblies as a young elementary student. It was absolutely my favorite thing to do at Christmas. When I began my teaching last year, I decided I wanted to have a holiday sing-along. Singing together builds a sense of community, and I consider Christmas music to be culturally important to America. I also think it is the perfect way to celebrate the last day of school before winter break.

The majority of my students celebrate Christmas and the rest celebrate nothing at all. I asked all of my classes if they celebrate Christmas, and I had no students who said they celebrate Hanukkah or Kwanzaa. Since this was the case, I went for full-on Christmas music. The climate of my school is such that if there is something that gets the students excited, you use it to engage them in learning. I had full support of the administration, which I would recommend before trying something like this!

I don't know how to describe the way I felt watching an auditorium full of my students sing their hearts out. I told them the point was just to have fun and most of them took that to heart. I saw the coolest 5th graders sing. I saw students who seem absolutely disinterested in doing the right thing sing. I saw teachers sing. Most of all, I saw happy kids. There were some who chose not to sing, but there will always be people who just resist happiness.

My absolute favorite moment was during the 3rd-5th grade sing-along. (We have to split into two groups because we can't fit the whole school into the auditorium at once). After singing and yelling their hearts out, we began to sing "Jolly Old St. Nicholas". They were super pumped for this song, and I wasn't even sure that most of them knew it well. But they all sang and when they did, it was soft and beautiful. I nearly cried right there at the piano.

I guess my point is that I love my job. There are always low points, but the high points always seem to make up for them, somehow. I love giving hugs and hearing stories daily about the little things. I love being important to a bunch of little people. It gives me purpose and fills me with love.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,
Ms. R

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P.S. Here's a funny little story, just in case you were hoping for one:

While practicing "Silent Night", one of my first graders began crying quietly. I didn't say anything until the song was over and we had moved on to another activity. When I asked him to come tell me what was wrong (just in case he didn't want the whole class to hear), he hugged me. As his tears slowed, I asked again what was wrong, what had happened.

"Silent Night made me cry."

When he said that, I hugged him tighter and laughed. Music can be touching to young children too!

Conversations About Me

School's been real stressful lately. We have a lot of craziness going on, but there are always little moments that make me smile. Today, I want to share two stories another teacher told me, about me, today.

Story 1
Kids ague a lot, and I've been reminding my students lately that they will not always get along with each other but they have to be polite and kind anyway. It's just part of being a good person. I told them that I'm not best friends with every teacher in our school, but I still show them kindness and respect. There are always people in our lives we may butt heads with or disagree with occasionally. It's just a fact of life!
Anyway, two 4th grade girls decided they wanted to spend recess inside with their teacher today. This teacher is a close friend of mind and told me what these girls were discussing when they thought the teacher wasn't listening.

Girl 1: "Ms. R says she doesn't like some teachers in this school but she has to get along with them anyway."
Girl 2: "I wonder who she doesn't like."
*both think for a while"
Girl 1: "Oh, I know! I think it's *teacher's name* because one time, they were walking down the hall towards each other and Ms. R just stared ahead and didn't say anything at all!"
Girl 2: "That must be who she doesn't like!"

Hearing this conversation made me crack up. I don't remember staring past this teacher or not acknowledging them in the hallway, but it must have happened! Kids notice more than we know!

Story 2
I may technically be an adult, but I still have moments of immaturity. Several weeks ago, my friend asked me to fill in the dates of all my chorus rehearsals on her desk calendar so she could help me out. While going through her calendar, I decided to add some other important dates. The first was in October and said "Buy Ms. R a present". My birthday isn't until March, but I like presents. The second was in November. It just said "farts".

Skip ahead to November. My teacher friend was approached by one of her most responsible students tod. The student normally is pretty fun and carefree, but she approached my friend very seriously and said she needed to speak with her. My friend was naturally very worried until the girl said, "Someone wrote 'farts' on your calendar." My friend was pretty confused and had her say it again. Finally she realized that she was talking about what I'd written on her desk calendar ages ago. She told the student, "Oh, that was just Ms. R being silly. It was a joke."

The student did not think it was funny.

Oh, well, you can't get 'em all.

Second Year Teacher

A new school year began, like, yesterday and somehow we're at the end of the first quarter! Holy moly! I spent the summer organizing filing cabinets, throwing away gross old musical scores, cleaning instruments, and missing my kiddos. When the new school year began, I felt confident in my ability to teach my students. I knew what I was doing! I'd done all this before!

...not.

Being a second year teacher is like being a first year teacher...except you know everything you're doing wrong. I've been struck by the realization that I have a long way to go in order to become the teacher I want to be. Now that most of the students at my school are finally comfortable being in music class, how can I push them academically? How do I get out of my comfort zone and keep trying things I've never done before?

Several days ago, I had a breakdown that was a long time coming. I was so FRUSTRATED. Hadn't I tried EVERYTHING??? No...because I only have one year of experience. I am a young professional, still new to my career. After several long talks with supportive teachers, friends, and mentors, I realized that I am going to be okay. Even better, I recognize my shortcomings and have the opportunity to grow. As much as it hurts to fall apart, sometimes it's what I need to put everything back together.

I had the opportunity this weekend to attend a workshop hosted by the First Iowa Orff chapter. They brought Peter and Mary Alice Amidon, also known as the New England Dancing Masters, to UNI for a day of folk dancing and singing. I had so much fun! I got to spend the day with other teachers, including one of my dearest teacher friends from college. I got a hundred new ideas for things I want to do with my students. It was rejuvenating and exactly what I needed.

Davenport Music Teachers and the Amidons!

Soon I'll update with some more student stories. Even though I can be a stressed out second year teacher, they still crack me up. Until next time!

--Ms. R

Catching up!

I have been thinking about how I have so many stories to share recently, but I am just now getting around to typing them up! My students do hilarious things daily, so here are some of my recent favorites:

Because I lost my voice, I had most of my classes watch "The King & I" last week. Why? Because it's an excellent musical, I love Rodgers & Hammerstein, and I knew none of my kids would have seen it. Before I started the movie, I told my kids I'd be happy to answer any questions they had, as long as they didn't talk during the movie. Some of the questions were priceless.

4th Grader: "Ms. R, who's that kid?"

Me: "He's the Crown Prince. That means that he will be the next king, once the king dies."

4th Grader: *thinking* "...like The Lion King?"

Me: "Uh...yeah. Like The Lion King."

After meeting the King's wives...

4th Grader #2: "His WIVES??"

Me: "Yes, his wives. Remember, this is a different culture and a different time."

4th Grader #2: "Isn't that cheating? Don't they get mad, like, 'Stay away from my man!'"

Me: "No, they didn't. They thought men were better than women and that women could be possessions. As the king he could have as many wives as he wanted. We don't believe that in America."

4th Grader #3: "I wish I could do that!"

Me: "Well, you can't, so..."

It was a pretty entertaining week! There was also a day last week that several 5th grade boys got into biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig trouble with the principal. Their punishment was to spend the entire day with a Kindergarten class. I must admit, I had a little fun with them...

As the class took their seats, I croaked with my lost voice, "Kindergarten, we are going to watch a video today since Ms. R. doesn't have a voice! Make sure you are being good listeners while we watch! If you understand, put your finger on your nose!"

All the Kindergartners put their fingers on their noses, and the 5th grade boy just sat there without moving. I looked at him, leaned forward, and said in my sweetest voice, "Do I need to be clearer? Do...not...talk...during...the movie." He just glared at me, while I giggled on the inside. Not my proudest moment as a teacher, but I wanted to remind him that 5th grade is not such a bad place to be. And don't do the crime if you can't do the time!

My voice has since came back, and I'm enjoying singing to my students again! One of the songs I'm singing with my students right now ends with us singing "Too-ra-loo-ra-loo". I caught one of my Kindergarteners singing "Blu-ray, blu-ray, blue!" When I glanced at her with a questioning look, she just giggled. 

That's all for now, folks!

Kindergartners can be little charmers.

I have a confession to make.

I.

Love.

Kindergarten!

They are probably my favorite grade to teach.  Everything for them is so new, and they always love to learn.  Not only that, but kindergartners seem to have a specific charm about them.  Here are a couple conversations I've had already this week with these small ones.

Story 1:

As I walked this specific kindergarten class into my room, I found myself walking next to a very sweet girl.
I said, "Good morning!" and she put her arm around my waist and said, "Good morning, Ms. R.!  You're looking beautiful today!"

Ooh, so good for my self-esteem.

Story 2:

A different kindergarten class walked in this afternoon.  Often, the kids will swarm around the piano bench I'm sitting on to tell me that someone pushed them in line, or they lost a tooth, or they got new shoes.  As I fielded the questions and comments, a boy who has had particular trouble in my class but has been working hard to do a better job of behaving stood in front of me with a very worried look on his face.  I chose to address him right away and asked what he wanted to tell me.  He responded very slowly because he was thinking...

Me: "Yes, what do you want to tell me?"
Kinder: "Um, uh...um...Ms. R?  Do you...know...what my favorite...favorite part of music is?"
Me: "No, what?"
Kinder: "...I like you!"

And little comments like that are what keep me going.

Have a great Wednesday and stay warm, everyone!

Favorites...

Teachers aren't supposed to have favorite students.  Those kids tend to get called "teacher's pet" and seem to receive special treatment from their teachers.

As a teacher, it's reeeeally hard not to have favorite students.  People always have favorite people in their lives, whether they are family members, best friends, or favorite people to be around.  Teachers spend their days with kids, and it's very difficult to not love some kids just a little bit more.  I realize I have favorite students, and I work really hard to not show them any more favor than any other student.

One of my favorite kiddos is a kindergartener.  He is absolutely tiny and the sweetest little kid.  He's smart, has a great little singing voice, and is respectful to the people around him.  He does little things that always make me smile because he's an all-around good kid!  This morning was the first time I'd seen his class in the hallway since Winter Break ended.  I got hugs while walking down the line of his classmates and when I got to him, I hugged him.  What he said then just killed me...

Adorable student: "Ms. R., I wish you were my mom!"

GAHHHHHHHHH. ALL THE FEELS, right in my heart.

I've met his mom before, and she's a great parent to him and his siblings.  But it warmed my heart just the same!